The other thing about transitions and the other thing I've learnt about myself: a transition is a gateway, when you go through something, it tends to lead somewhere. I am never where I was before, which contradicts the concept of a cycle, but lends a beautiful, and again organic, confirmation to the feeling of a spiral (an "up" spiral, if there is such a thing, not the downturn leading to rock bottom kind). And now look where I am? Debating my child's own cycles and how they mimic or differ from mine. This spot, it may feel familiar-the same need for quiet, the same soothing grey; but just here-no, I've never been here before...
In writing the last post, I looked up Barbara Kingsolver to make sure my remark was not just something I pulled out of my.....I tend to do that. The first thing I noticed is Bean Trees, a book I first read in high school and has been one of my favorites ever since, is a book about a young woman who accidentally adopts a child! How did I forget that? It's sad how many of my possessions I've lost in my more dramatic transitions, especially the
clothes books. Other things I saw about her in links that for some reason will not properly load, but include her official website: she moved to Africa as a child-I thought that was just part of her novel The Posionwood Bible; she considers herself a "scientist who writes"-I consider myself a Philosopher who thinks too much, and activist who thinks too much, a writer who thinks too much, you get?; she believes "the writing of fiction is a dance between truth and invention"-I would agree and add the Living of Life is a copulation between thinking and doing.
I think I wouldn't ask so many questions on life, if I'd been allowed to keep some of the answers I collected along the way. Now it's sort of like my conversations with God (haven't read the real book): God shows me a piece of the puzzle and I say-meh? and he replies, "what do you see?" And I look, and I look, and then suddenly I see, "Oh! There you are!" Then he gently (or not so gently) turns me in another direction, and asks, "What do you see?" And I look, and I look, and the same frustration and longing exists, but it's always a different version of Him; and so, the spiral continues.
COPULATION: I always think of snakes when I use that word, and I love using that word. Big Gianormous snakes LOVE to copulate!
Do you know what horrors I had to look at to find this picture that was supposed to represent all the cool Nature shows I watched as a child? The internet is one sick place, I tells ya. What large snakes.....ahem....mating has to do with nano technology, the reader can find out.... maybe it's porn....kidding, but really I doubt I will sleep well tonight-grrrroooossss!