I am a warrior. I deserve this; I deserve to lose my Purpose and regain my Self; I deserve to know myself again. I don’t know how that can make sense and if I think on it too much the Voice of Fear disguising itself as the Voice of Reason, of my mother, of the world, will rise up in my mind and shout, “SHAME, SHAME, SHAME-You are NOTHING; you’ve achieved NOTHING; you deserve only ME (Fear) as your- Punishment (?) Reward (?) Penance (?)-until you get your SHIT together.” But right now-just now, I am not thinking, only feeling and writing. And YES, I feel I deserve this; I deserve to not think, to not be afraid, and to know myself again; my heart shouts “I deserve this!!...Who gives a FUCK WHY?!?!”
…And so do You?